Recently, my wife and I traveled to Korea with our eldest son. We spent meaningful time with family and joyfully reunited with old friends. We were also able to take a short but precious family trip with our two sons. This visit to Korea was filled with joy, gratitude, and moments that invited deeper reflection.
I was especially grateful to reconnect with people who have been important in my life, even after many years. I met my elementary school classmates, and I was able to see again those who were young adults when I served them in my twenties and who are now in their fifties. Though much time has passed, it was a precious reminder that God has faithfully walked with each of us through the seasons of our lives.
However, the most important purpose of this trip was to care for my mother-in-law, whose health has declined significantly. During our stay, my wife devoted herself wholeheartedly to caring for her mother. Although I was concerned about my wife’s health and shoulder pain, she said, “I raised two sons. I can do this,” and served her mother with all her heart.
Yet the reality of caregiving was far more challenging than expected. My mother-in-law needed assistance several times throughout the night, and my wife often woke up at dawn to care for her. After nearly three weeks of continuous caregiving, she became physically and emotionally exhausted.
Even before our trip, my wife and her siblings had discussed exploring care facilities once we arrived in Korea. Although they had not reached a firm conclusion, they agreed that after we arrived, they would look into options together.
After spending time with her mother in Korea and observing her condition closely, my wife and her siblings concluded that living in a care facility would be necessary for her safety and well-being. As her dementia progressed, she frequently forgot to take her medication and often skipped meals, which became a significant concern.
Thankfully, a place in a care facility became available before we returned to the United States. At first, she wished to go back home, but over time she began to adjust and now says she likes it there. We believe this is God’s grace for her and for our family.
Through this experience, I found myself reflecting deeply on the many seasons of life. In our younger years, we make decisions about school, work, marriage, and raising children. As we grow older, we face decisions about health, caregiving, and accepting help from others. Sometimes, love requires us to make difficult and heavy decisions.
I have told my children that if a time comes when I can no longer care for myself, I do not want them to feel burdened or guilty. When that season arrives, I hope they can accept it, and I hope I can accept it as well.
None of us likes to think about aging or becoming weak. Yet these, too, are natural parts of the journey God has given us.
What remains certain is this: God never abandons us in any season of life. He walks with us not only when we are strong, but also when we are weak and vulnerable.
May we, in every season of life, care for one another with wisdom, love, and grace, and may we experience God’s faithful guidance together.
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4
Grace and peace,
Rev. Hyuntae Kim, Ph.D.
